Swiped off Tumblr in a random sort of way

  1. spanish and italian: So THESE words are feminine and THESE words are masculine, and you ALWAYS put an adjective AFTER the noun.
  2. french: haha i dont fuckin know man just do whatever
  3. german: LET’S ADD A NEUTRAL NOUN HAHA
  4. english: *shooting up in the bathroom*
  5. gaelic: the pronounciation changes depending on the gender and what letter the word starts and ends with and hahah i dont even know good fucking luck
  6. polish: here have all of these consonants have fun
  7. japanese: subject article noun article verb. too bad there’s three fucking alphabets lmao hope your first language isn’t western
  8. welsh: sneeze, and chances are you’ve got it right. idfk
  9. chinese: here’s a picture. draw it. it means something. it can be pronounced three different ways. these twenty other pictures are pronounced the same but have very different meanings. godspeed.
  10. arabic: so here’s this one word. it actually translates to three words. also pronouns don’t really exist. the gender is all in the verb. have fun!
  11. latin: here memorize 500 charts and then you still dont know what the fuck is happening
  12. dutch: so, this verb… do you have to use a ‘d’ at the end? or a ‘t’? or do you spell it with ‘dt’? YOU WILL NEVER KNOWWWW
  13. sign language: If you move this sign by a tenth of an inch, you’ll be signing “penis”
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12 responses to this post.

  1. Great list – I remember trying to learn Finnish, apparently more vowels than any other language. The list is right on about Gaelic, three weeks of trying to learn and I ended up stomping on the cassette. 🙂

    Reply

    • And doesn’t Finnish have some ungodly number of noun declensions? Like 17 or something?

      Reply

      • I did not know that but it makes sense. It’s got that old Germanic language style in some ways. I was inspired to learn more about Finnish when I heard the band Varttina, quite an interesting use of the language (plus I’d love to visit or even move there).

        Reply

        • That’s why I started learning German–my obsession with the band Rammstein.

          I am, however, very interested in visiting Finland. Not sure I’d want to live there, though.

          Reply

        • It’s even weirder than the Germanic languages – it’s its own language family.
          Linguists get into heated discussions and bouts of tutt-tuttery concerning where the hell it came from.
          The current theory, maybe the language came from near the Urals – where the closest similar things are – and the speakers wandered about, picking up other populations and giving them their language on their way up to Finland.
          Or maybe it was aliens.
          Apparently Tolkein was a fan, and incorporated bits into Elvish.

          Reply

    • The kid did three years of Irish.
      I think you have to do it in a group. so that you have other people around to suffer with.
      (My own theory is that it is all an elaborate hoax, designed to annoy and perplex the English.
      After the strangers left, the locals would all sit about snickering over cups of tea, and invent more impossible lenition rules to try out on the next lot.)

      Reply

      • Suffering in a group is a great idea, I should have done that. I’d probably be singing along to my favorite Celtic tunes rather than sulking. 😉

        Reply

  2. I would change French to “here are the seven ways you can accidentally say “cunt” without meaning to.”

    Reply

  3. lol. i actually like sign because the body language figures in so heavily. but i learned 2 different English sign languages and now I’m all f-ed up, crossing them with each other.

    Reply

  4. Posted by SingingTuna on October 26, 2013 at 12:21 pm

    Bwahahahah!!!!!!
    So THIS is what’s written on the Rosetta Stone. I’ve always wondered.

    Reply

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