Moar Marin Mom

From one of the dozens of articles on her (http://blog.seattlepi.com/mommyfiles/category/cleo-everest):

“More media coverage rolled in. Canadian gossip maven Elaine “Lainey” Lui gave His Giant Mistake a giant plug on her hugely popular Lainey Gossip site. Lainey call the blog her “current obsession” and recommends “reading from the very beginning. It’s designed to unspool like a story.”

Cleo’s page views increased dramatically, from 100 to 40,000 hits a day. Her site was flooded with comments, and like so many bloggers, who freely share their damaged lives, she found inspiration and hope in her readers.

“People were sitting down and pouring their hearts out in the comments,” Cleo says. “I would sit down and read and sob. Happy sobs. I wasn’t alone.

“My husband traveled so much. I don’t have a gaggle of girlfriends. I remember opening my email and seeing 20 comments. That has been an unexpected massive gift.”

Now that the blog is reaching a wide audience, Cleo is writing for herself—and other women in similar situations.

“It’s stunning how many people are going through the same thing,” she says.

Cleo recently asked a group of moms at her kids’ school if they were happy in their marriages and not a single person said yes. “Women’s needs just aren’t being met,” she says. “We spend so much time giving. We don’t take time to discover what our needs are.””

Lemme see now…

“My husband traveled so much. I don’t have a gaggle of girlfriends. I remember opening my email and seeing 20 comments.”

When Tom was commuting to work in LA, even though I had the kid on my own, I had lots more time for socializing with girlfriends.
A traveling husband doesn’t mean you are necessarily isolated.
And wait, there is supposed to be her whole incredibly supportive and cool family.
So they don’t email her?
And heck, if her husband was traveling, they’d be emailing all the time.
When Tom was mostly in LA we were online a lot.
And not just from missing each other, so that her marriage was all broken and all doesn’t explain anything.
There are just always things that needed working through, questions about this and that.
(Besides, I thought she hovered. If he traveled, she’d have had to do a lof of her hovering online.)
So I have no idea what this is about.

“Cleo recently asked a group of moms at her kids’ school if they were happy in their marriages and not a single person said yes.”

Well, I don’t know about you, but I always just entirely opened up to relative strangers at kid events, especially if they asked me about issues like my happiness and my marriage, and my general sense of fulfillment.
And she claims only even been in town for about a year, so this isn’t a group that she has a lot of history with either.

Sheesh.

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15 responses to this post.

  1. LOL at “…I always just entirely opened up to relative strangers”

    I take this is the woman you mentioned in G+? she has a book to sell, no doubt.

    Reply

  2. Well…I’m not sure if there’s anything new here, except that nowadays everyone gets to spill their guts on the internet.

    I’m guessing this mom doesn’t have a job outside of the home. That in itself is horribly isolating, especially if you don’t have family or a lot of friends in town. I went through this when I was a young mother in Minnesota: no friends, no family, none that I could count on anyway. Also, in this culture we tend to focus our identity on our professions. If you’ve quit your job to stay home with the kids, you lose a huge part of who you were—and I don’t care how much things have changed or whatever Mrs. Romney says, nobody wants to be called a “housewife.” Not to mention coffee breaks [insert incredulous laughter here], sympathetic workmates to share gossip with, lunches at restaurants (unless you count Happy Meals consumed with shrieking preschoolers), feedback and discussion about adult topics with other intelligent adults.

    I also suspect a number of young women place a huge amount of expectations upon their marriages and parenthood. Those were supposed to fill your every want and need: who doesn’t remember the “happily ever after” at the end of Cinderella or Snow White? But then he doesn’t follow the script—he takes off for a conference in Las Vegas and leaves you with a toddler with intestinal flu; he comes home tired and doesn’t want to talk (and you’re dying to, since he’s the first real adult you’ve seen in days), let alone help with the housework; he doesn’t show up with flowers and a bottle of wine every Friday and sweep you off your feet. And that cute little baby that was supposed to cap everything? Overflowing diapers, baby barf, and all-night wailing can make even the most patient person resent the little monster.

    I don’t know. I sympathize, because I can still remember the loneliness; but there is a part of me that wants to say, “Get over it, make a life for yourself instead of waiting for him and the kids to make it for you.” I’ve read that women in rural-agricultural cultures don’t suffer from such anomie because parenting is a shared task among many family members, grandparents, siblings, uncles and aunts, and because parenthood is valued as a job, not as some lifestyle choice. Corporate culture has encouraged a lot of Western women to think parenting is something one took on by herself when it really is a societal task. So maybe, hopefully, this blog will make some women see their problems within a political-societal context, and not just “oh, it’s not just meee!” And maybe will tackle them through their communities and this upcoming election.

    (My son just said, “Good luck with that.”)

    Reply

    • I actually don’t think this is the blog of a real person.
      I think this is just somebody’s book promo.
      I’m not even sure it is written by a woman, since so much of it just feels wrong.

      In other words, don’t worry about her loneliness
      According to her blog she is spending her time hanging out in upscale restaurants and bars getting soulful advice from the new man.
      When she isn’t climbing Mt. Tam, or watching the sunset, all with the two kids conveniently in some Limbo because the plot doesn’t really need them, except as a measure of the husband’s duplicity.

      Reply

    • Posted by Brown Suga' on April 26, 2012 at 9:43 pm

      “…In rural-agricultural cultures …. parenthood is valued as a job, not as some lifestyle choice.”

      1000% true. I come from such a culture and I am going to deliver in the city where my parents reside, because they are so eager to help with the baby!
      Because I have been raised in the city, I expected people at work to grumble when I told them the news of my pregnancy. Instead I was pleasantly surprised by how supportive my office colleagues were. One even said “Congrats on your promotion!”

      On the other hand…

      “Corporate culture has encouraged a lot of Western women to think parenting is something one took on by herself when it really is a societal task.”

      This is also true, but it’s trickling down to us too. Though my company is very supportive, and I’ve heard from moms working elsewhere that their workplaces were supportive, I am actually weighing my options of getting back to work ASAP – if for nothing else, the money and the fact that jobs requiring my qualifications are currently near-extinct and I stand to lose out a lot if I resign. Also, with the time and money we have invested in our education, letting work take a backseat feels wrong, though I know in my heart that it actually isn’t.
      I just asked a colleague, who’s been working here over a decade and had both her girls while in office, for advice. She told me she got back to work when they were 3.5 months and 4 months old, respectively, and that she didn’t arrive late or leave work early because her MIL/SIL/mom was always around to take care of them. That alarmed me a bit because I personally feel that that is too young an age to leave one’s child and return to work, but the point is, I actually want to return to work. The tug-of-war between the pragmatic need to supplement the family income and the emotional need to bond with my child and raise her right, is intense.
      In my ideal world, my workplace has a creche where I can drop my child so that I can spend time with her over the course of the day, then pick her up when its time to go home. Sigh.

      Reply

  3. it’s “Eat Pray Love” but with (conveniently adaptable) children

    “EPL” = yech

    Reply

    • You are absolutely right, mariser. And it pisses me off because it’s just another person or group of people manipulating us.
      Well, thanks to lauo bringing it to our attention we won’t be manipulated. But, what a huge load of crap.

      “Cleo recently asked a group of moms at her kids’ school if they were happy in their marriages and not a single person said yes. “Women’s needs just aren’t being met,” she says. “We spend so much time giving. We don’t take time to discover what our needs are.”

      That alone. Who opens up in a group of moms at her kids’ school to say they are all miserable? And, if your needs aren’t being met, start figuring it out and meeting them.
      I can just hear the rallying cry, now. Teeshirts, marches in the street “Our needs aren’t being met.”

      Ptooooui.

      Reply

  4. Seriously, a bunch of moms are standing around and she just polls them if they are happy in their marriages? AND THEY ALL ANSWERED? Oh wait…not a single one said yes. But maybe no one said no. Maybe no one stuck around to answer. (theoretically because this isn’t actually something that happened…)

    Reply

  5. Book promo. Could be. Or a thesis, dissertation, something…a social science experiment… something…something… something…maybe beta testing for a computer programmed to write chick-lit for the “NU WIMMANS.”
    Gah.

    Reply

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