Apparently I fail at the innerwebs

From my spam folder:

Hello Webmaster, I noticed that is ranking pretty low on Google and has a low Google PageRank. Now the Google PageRank is how Google is able to see how relevant your webpage is compared to all the other webpages online, if you cannot rank high at the top of Google, then you will NOT get the traffic you need. Now usually trying to get to the top of Google costs hundreds if not thousands of dollars and very highly optimized targeted marketing campaigns that takes a team of experts months to achieve. However, we can show you how to get to the top of Google with no out of pocket expenses (free traffic), no stupid ninja tricks, no silly mind control techniques, and this will be all white hat with no blackhat software or tactics that could possibly land you on bad terms with Google and put you in the dreaded “Google Sandbox”. We’ll show you how to easily capture all the targeted traffic you need, for free, multiple ways to land fast (not months) first-page rankings in Google and other major search engines (Bing, Yahoo, Ask, etc), even show you strategies on how to earn daily commissions just try Ranking Top of Google, please check out our 5 minute video.


Apparently crowds weren’t flocking to the blog about my sister’s death.

Wonder how I could have made it more snappy.


11 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Riesie on December 27, 2011 at 1:57 pm

    Whatever you do, don’t spring for their grammar checker.


  2. Put “sex” in there, that will boost your rankiing. Put it in every post, in fact, and see what happens.


  3. *big eyeroll*
    I consider being at the bottom of the innarwebs to be the highest possible compliment.
    Congrats, lauo!


  4. I have my page blocked from web searches, so at least you know you get more “traffic” than I do.


  5. I wanna know about ninja tricks and mind control!


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