Posted November 7, 2011 by lauowolf in Uncategorized. Tagged: and Californi only gets vampires. 40 Comments
I’m glad we have our very own monster:
Posted by Lurkertype on November 7, 2011 at 11:18 pm
I’m not sure how Cthulu gets so far inland to Tennessee… maybe he comes up the river.
Posted by geologywoman on November 7, 2011 at 11:34 pm
LOL! Who made this map!
Posted by lauowolf on November 8, 2011 at 10:57 am
Sadly, I have no idea.
Swiped off a Tumblr account on its way to viral superdom.
Posted by Hangaku Gozen on November 8, 2011 at 12:17 am
According to the Twilight trilogy, vampires live in Washington State. I don’t know how Cali got stuck with them. And Utah should have got stuck with Mormons.
I also don’t understand why Minnesota has succubi. The Ojibwe will tell you the Wendigo haunts the deep woods of the Land o’ Lakes.
Posted by lauowolf on November 8, 2011 at 10:59 am
Clearly needs nudging.
Succubi to Southern California then?
Posted by Hangaku Gozen on November 8, 2011 at 11:55 am
Succubi in SoCal makes a lot more sense. I checked the tumblr account where the author put up that map, and apparently it was arbitrary choice, putting succubi in Minnesota.
The Wendigo is a Great Lakes thing, not to be messed with. I had Ojibwe friends who swore they or a family member had an experience with a Wendigo, which is something like a hungry ghost, except it eats people.
Posted by Jaypo on November 9, 2011 at 7:51 am
LOLOL @ Mormons! you’re sharp, hg. 😉
Posted by e2thec on November 8, 2011 at 2:12 am
I’m willing to bet $ that the person who created this map is from Indiana – Daylight Savings Time! (They have more than one time zone…)
And zombies for the entire state of PA is just wrong. They’re entirely a Pittsburgh thing. (No, really – check out the shooting locations for “Night of the Living Dead” and “Dawn of the Dead.”) I think my part of the state would do OK with Amish undercover werewolf fighters. 😉 Philly could be a UFO site, or else (the obvy) lotsa dead ghosty people to see.
Jersey people will hate being tagged with the Jersey Devil, but I suppose that’s better than the “Jersey state bird” joke (mosquito).
Posted by Carlisa on November 8, 2011 at 6:41 am
LOL @ “Amish undercover werewolf fighters”
You have me wondering now, e2c. This is a Mennonite area. They’ve always seemed like a peaceful sort of people, but maybe they’ve been sucking the brains out of these hillbillies! That’s it! We have meek Mennonite Hillbillian brain-suckers! haha!
Posted by e2thec on November 8, 2011 at 8:39 pm
I live in a part of PA that is very heavily Amish, Mennonite, Church of the Brethren, etc. Somehow, the idea of superhero Amish werewolf fighters seems realistic! 😉 (Maybe they could go on the offensive against all the corrupt people at Penn State…)
Posted by nadbugs on November 14, 2011 at 12:06 pm
Mere appetizers, friends. Hillybilly brains are mere amuse bouche.
Posted by e2thec on November 8, 2011 at 2:14 am
Jersey could be vampire mafiosi lounge acts (playing the Jersey Shore in general, and Atlantic City in particular) – like a sinister version of the singer in Woody Allen’s movie Broadway Danny Rose.
Posted by Carlisa on November 8, 2011 at 5:45 am
Hahaha! Great info here!
Posted by e2thec on November 8, 2011 at 8:41 pm
a lot of the bands that play the Jersey shore in the summer are from the Philly area. 🙂
Posted by Lauri on November 8, 2011 at 7:55 am
Oh, woe is me! “The clock in the wall”…that sounds more ominous than most of the others!
This is pretty funny, but yes…the Wendigo is a northern Michigan monster, too!
Posted by lauowolf on November 8, 2011 at 11:01 am
Yes, that one is particularly worrying.
Posted by e2thec on November 8, 2011 at 8:42 pm
Wendigo: in the UP?
Posted by Cap'n Stephel on November 8, 2011 at 9:29 am
Overlook Hotel? I’m going to have to figure that one out…
Posted by mariser on November 8, 2011 at 9:44 am
Capt’n, I think the Overlook Hotel is from “The Shining” by Stephen King
Posted by Cap'n Stephel on November 8, 2011 at 10:12 am
Ahhhhh. I am no longer confused.
(Its real name is the Stanley Hotel)
hey, Kentucky got zombies!
we be fashionable (for once)
Posted by Lauri on November 8, 2011 at 9:45 am
Hooray for you guys! We got “tick tick tick”….
Posted by M-----l on November 8, 2011 at 12:53 pm
I live in Ohio and had a dream two nights ago that starred Harry Morgan (of M*A*S*H) and Orson Welles.
Posted by lauowolf on November 8, 2011 at 1:15 pm
I just realized, I don’t think anything is coming for Delaware.
Does that mean they are safe?
Posted by Hangaku Gozen on November 8, 2011 at 2:03 pm
It’s because no one wants to live in Delaware. Not even zombies, vampires, or monsters.
[ducks quickly behind desk for cover]
Posted by nadbugs on November 14, 2011 at 12:07 pm
They don’t need any of that. They have — [dumdumdumdumd Jaws music] CORPORATIONS!
Posted by lauowolf on November 8, 2011 at 2:14 pm
I think either they just forgot it was there, or else CORPORATIONS was too big to fit in on the map.
Posted by Lauri on November 8, 2011 at 2:15 pm
Posted by e2thec on November 8, 2011 at 8:40 pm
Can someone say “Dupont”?!
Posted by lauowolf on November 9, 2011 at 9:57 pm
Dupont would fit.
Oh. Sorry. Didn’t read far enough. Great minds.
Posted by GOM in Oklahoma on November 8, 2011 at 2:27 pm
Oklahoma = bugs?
While there are tons of them here, eastern OK actually has a ‘creature’ similar to Bigfoot – there was even a cheesy movie made about it long ago. Here in Western OK our biggest ‘monster’ is Mother Nature … she apparently hates us.
Posted by lauowolf on November 8, 2011 at 5:13 pm
So you guys got Evil Step Mother Nature instead?
Posted by Lauri on November 8, 2011 at 5:18 pm
I think we could and have come up with a much better map than this one! 🙂 I love you guys’ suggestions for Florida! Snert!
Posted by Jaypo on November 9, 2011 at 7:54 am
I love the Ghosts one because Mass and upstate NY is full of them. The problem is that Massachusetts doesn’t want to share anything with New York, so we’ll have tar n’ feather the ghosts of leaf-peepers past.
Posted by littlemiao on November 9, 2011 at 9:53 pm
I knew that Wisconsin is infested with zombies. It’s fate that I’m stuck here. I suspect there are cannibals here as well, but perhaps they are the ones who became zombies.
Posted by mizunogirl on November 12, 2011 at 3:22 am
I am offended that FLorida just has “Virus”. I mean at least they could name the virus….It could be something swampy and appropriate, like Dengue Fever, or even Malaria. though we of course avoid malaria by spraying everything else to death. Maybe pesticides for us, or one of the midwestern states would be most appropriate!
And agree that ZOmbies for all of PA is extreme. the South Southern area is more likley to be plagued with Amish with pitchforks, maybe Amish ZOmbies.
Posted by lauowolf on November 12, 2011 at 2:34 pm
We clearly need to make this map at least twice the size and insert proper corrections and additions.
Posted by nadbugs on November 14, 2011 at 12:03 pm
Hey! There’s been a mistake! Bugs comes from ARKANSAS! Not Oklahoma!
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