It’s Official – NYU, finally

The check is in the mail.
We extended the dithering as long as we could (well, maybe we could have waited until Friday and express mailed it).
But we did give it extra time for considering all the pluses and minuses.
And I think we can say we've looked at this decision to the point of madness.
Pretty much Sair has been decided ever since she first got their letter, but we had to work around to all three of us being on the same page.
And I think we are now.
But it's still painful.

Financially, it will be hard.
We've got offers of loans (yeah), but I think we can pull it off without massive debt.
It's still a scary proposition.
And of course for Berkeley we would be paying in-state tuition.
And she could stay home, or at least, near home.
And UCB is nothing to sneeze at.
Which is part of why it's hard.

But also, I really loved going to Berkeley.
I had dropped out of college back east, and moved out here and was working on the campus, and then I snuck back into school through the back door.
First some "employee development" courses (of course I'll be a better secretary for taking Latin….), then I got admitted formally, and started going to school half-time, and still working until finally I got my M.A. and starting teaching.

But Sair wouldn't be going to my Berkeley.
That was thirty years ago.
The professors I worked with are almost entirely long gone, and only the buildings are the same.
Besides, for me Berkeley was an adventure, while for Sair Berkeley is just home, the campus is in her back yard, and the cultural goodies of the bay area are what she grew up with.
I think she'll always want to be coming back here, but I think she needs more of the world now than this
.
So she's going to be going off to London (!) for her freshman year, and after that New York.
I'm telling myself firmly that once a place isn't near, everywhere faraway is just as far.
New York, London, it is all just not here.
So let's see how calm I am in August.

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19 responses to this post.

  1. Oh, oh oh — how wonderful and heartbreaking both. I'm so happy for all of you.

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  2. Wow! What kind of program lets her do her first year abroad? What an adventure.

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  3. Bittersweet.

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  4. Congrats to Sair (and to home schooling!). I'll be honest. I think going away to school is the best thing a kid can do. I know the parents don't want to let go, don't want to give up any control or feel like they're losing or not protecting their kids anymore, but it really is good for them (kids and parents both, really). Obviously, sometimes money dictates, but kudos to you guys for deciding it's do-able. You'll all be just fine.

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  5. what an awesome time for Sair.
    what wonderful parents you and Tom are.
    keep on reminding yourselves. you are

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  6. This is good and distance for her will be good, tough on you, good for her. Congratulations to you all!

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  7. I so hear you. My husband and I did this five times. It's a nail biter each time. How exciting London and New York…Get Skype for sure…..

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  8. What is Sair's major?My son just accepted at Davis for Micro Biology – but he WANTED Berkley. Not in the cards for him. He did not even apply at Stanford because We live just blocks from Stanford campus. WIth his sister and many of his good friends at Davis – I think it is the perfect place for him.I think often kids end up where they are "supposed" to be. Sounds like Sair is in for a wonderful adventure with a wonderful home to always come home to!

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  9. That's one of the difficult parts, because she doesn't quite know.She's done twelve years of ballet, but isn't cut out to be a dancer — too tall.She writes a lot, and draws a lot.She plays flute and piano at an advanced level, but isn't sure that she wants to major in music.–the schools of music seem to expect you to walk in as a freshman already committed to it.But she wants to go see what is out there.And she loves math…..So basically it's all wide open at this point.Her current idea is to minor in music, with an eye towards going on with it later if that's where her heart takes her.But meanwhile to look at lots of possibilities for a major — math, or anthropology, or who knows what.I suspect she may take her distribution requirements and end up falling in love with something she hasn't even seen yet.Or go take her music courses and discover that's where she wants to be.

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  10. How exciting! Congrats to her and good luck to all of you!

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  11. Awww, this is bittersweet.
    As someone who left home after high-school and has stayed away for 6 years (and will be coming back home only this June), I can tell you firsthand that it is the best thing that ever happened to me and my family.
    Good luck to her and all of you – you're a great bunch.

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  12. This must be absolutely thrilling for the whole family. Congratulations!! I'm sure it will be a little hard at times, but that's a damn fine opportunity for Sair. 🙂

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  13. Bitter sweet for sure! And how exciting! ((((HUGS))))

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  14. Have you got plane tickets to Heathrow for you and Tom booked yet?
    And you must let us New England Voxers know when you visit NY.
    (I did a semester in London too.)

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  15. I'm scouting about on-line for tickets now.youch!So you did a term in London?You must tell all!

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  16. Wow, wow, wow. That is great but yep, gotta be hard. You're a great mom though, you see it rationally and with heart. Good luck to her, how very exciting! and of course, good luck to you too.

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  17. Decisions are good. Hooray!!!!I hope it all works welll——- ((((((((NYUhugs)))))))

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  18. heh, heh, heh. What happens in London, stays in London…
    ;-p
    I was on Gower St./Tottenham Court Rd. area/Russell Square.
    It were long years ago. I was nowt but a dewy poet enamoured of art, architecture, prose and history. I had a big crush on London, still do. And London kindly took good care of me and then sent me on my way. Our love was not meant to be. But every time we meet again, London greets me fondly.
    London will be good to Sair.
    I imagine Sair will not dress like, or talk loud like an American tourist. I definitely advise blending in and talk softly. Put things in her front pockets. Practice making change so no fumbling. Look both ways twice when crossing the road – crazy lefty drivers!

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  19. Hi again, cow-orker's daughter recently spent a semester at Queen's Univeristy, Belfast, N.I. Her strongest advice is, "…don't hang around with Americans. Get with the local students. Ask for a dorm, or housing, with local students. Accept invitations to their parent's homes on weekends."

    Reply

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