I hate it when they do that…

When people just disappear, and you never have any idea what happened.
Alien abduction?
Witness protection program?
Sudden epiphany and moved into a Carmelite convent?
Or maybe they just hated me so much they had to go into hiding….

Like the kid from high school who hasn't turned up on Classmates, and can't be found by Google, and none of the pitifully few people I've talked to in the past few decades has any idea.
(Vicky McAllister — Were you just a figment of my imagination?)
God knows I am the absolute worst person on earth at keeping up with people, but some folks make it harder for anyone, even people less challenged than I am, to catch up with them.

Or when you're reading a series of books, and the author didn't finish it.
Rosemay Edghill, the twelve treasures, anyone?
So where are the rest of them, already?
Inquiring minds want to know.

Or, she says, getting to the point, when someone just goes and cancels their Vox.
I can see it if there is a privacy issue of some kind — spooky stalking happening, or whatever.
Life can be hard.
But couldn't you go back and neighborhood-only your stuff, or just delete the shaky stuff if it seems controversial to you in retrospect.

And I can see deciding thia whole blogging thing is taking too much of your time.
After all, my own presence here fluctuates wildly.
I just figure people will be okay if I miss something.
There are enough of us that I can slack sometimes — if I miss a contest, or a milestone, I think I trust the peeps not to get their undies in a twist about it.
(Slack now, Vox later, as someone might say.)

But do you have to cancel everything and dwindle into a question mark?
That's spooky
I feel like Winston Smith seeing history re-write itself: the posts are gone, were they ever there?

How's about just leaving up your Vox, with a little Bye-and-thanks-for-all-the-fish post?
Just like a polite little kid leaving a party would do.

Try this:

Thank you for inviting me.
I had a lovely time.

Then I wouldn't be imaging you sleeping with the fishes.

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18 responses to this post.

  1. Yes, that is odd. Creates an uneasy feeling…


  2. Disappearing people is very troublesome indeed. I have and still do I suppose several blog sites. Vox is the only one I have ever been consistent with.


  3. And what about that whole "buddy" system we were all working a while ago. That if you went to radio silence, you told a vox buddy off the system, or someone in your RL who would tell your vox buddy and they posted for you enough to keep us all from worrying — or told the others on your behalf if there was something to worry about (i.e. illness).


  4. Yeah, I agree. I've thought about this too–and I will definitely do a little goodbye curtsy before I bail, because I'd appreciate the same from you guys. We worry. I guess that's hard for some to imagine, that we really might care.


  5. I liked your buddy system, Laurie, and I totally have mine set up. I mean, even if Mr. IG weren't available (not that he'd know how to get on Vox and notify you guys anyway) — there are a couple of folks on Vox who would know how to reach me and let everyone know what on earth was going on. Just FYI. πŸ™‚


  6. I will definitely do a little goodbye curtsy before I bail Oh noes, IG! You're not planning on leaving, are you? :'(


  7. is this about gunderson?
    she left this really abrasive, tough-love comment on one of my whinier posts (i'm pathetic. i admit it. i deserved it) and then when i went back to respond to it today she was gone. question-mark head and a little green line through her name. the comment is still there…


  8. I always vote for alien abduction first and then wait for someone to prove me wrong. Since I save my passwords and whatnot, should I be unable to meet my duties as Ms. Universe SnoringKatZ, the first runner-up will step in for me. Assuming anyone thinks of booting up my machine at some point.


  9. Immediately, yes, it made me stop and think.But other people, other times, too.


  10. I had a different Vox account up until two months ago. I left a post up for some time saying it would be deleted, I sent out a neighborhood only post to all of my neighbors, and when I deleted the account I still had people panicking and PMing my other blog (dear lord I have too many blogs) hoping that I was okay. I felt absolutely horrid.If I ever decide to delete another account, I'm going to leave a thanks for all the fish post up for about a year. After all, it's not like Vox is charging for it, right?


  11. oh no, not at all, LM. i meant hypothetically only. I can imagine scenarios in which any of us may need to take a sabbatical from vox, or even delete an account; but like shushnow says, in many cases it should be possible to do it without panicking our friends…


  12. Buddy system – check.I will definitely do a little goodbye curtsyDon't scare us like that!!! That's what the conditional tense is for! "I WOULD definitely do…" Whew.


  13. I noticed Laura Elizabeth disappered yesterday. It would be nice to leave some sort of message so others aren't worried. I didn't get any Vox notice of change of account so I just removed her. 😦


  14. My land is bare of chattering folk
    The clouds are low along the ridges
    And sweet's the air with curly smoke
    From all my burning bridges.
    -Dorothy Parker
    (I take it to mean, I'm all cloudy and alone b/c I burned all my bridges?)
    I have many times thought to ditch Vox, due to technical difficulties, lack of time, and sometimes from being offended. But there is more good here than bad. IF I do leave (alien abduction!), I *would* bid you all a fond adieu. My 'hood is so small so …
    lauowolf, you're a good kid. It's OK if you miss things on Vox. We miss you, but no twisted knickers.


  15. Yup, I hate the disappearing bit. Especially of people you only know through a blog–leaves you feeling like that person was a figment of your imagination. It also makes me, frankly, a little pissy. Because when someone deletes, I usually assume he/she deleted, not that something bad has happened. Because, as we saw with Marque, when something bad happens, said person isn't around to delete. Of course, some folks delete because they get "found out" and are nervous about being so exposed. Back to me being pissy: I tend to be quick to delete those dead Vox accounts from my neighborhood. Hey, if I wasn't important enough to be notified before you deleted, you're not important enough for me to worry about. Oooh, the lizard is cranky today.


  16. Yeah – that's weird. We could all gang up on you and say something like "Gunderson Who?" and make you think you were going crazy.


  17. I don't have any other blogs, and I know that I think of you guys as real life friends. I would feel just plain rude if I just disappeared without saying a word!(snorkel) There I said a word.Anyway….you guys are a part of my life and I think of you all fondly. Even self proclaimed "pissy" Redz! πŸ˜‰ AND, I think of Dewitte talking in a Dale Hill voice! πŸ˜‰


  18. for the real people, Lauo–have you tried Zabasearch?
    For the Vox people—yeah–I guess leaving it up is too much of a temptation.
    If you get found out—how hard is it to PM or email ONE person to let them know that you had to delete the thing and could you please let others know.
    I'm with Redz. when people up & delete their blobs, I delete the stupid gone question-mark heads ASAP. At least with Stacy/Izola she had already indicated that this might happen. With Gunderson—who knows, as I said, she may have been found out by her stupid ex so I suppose I can understand that. I am not that close with her but I thought SOMEone would have some kind of info by now. But anyone else randomly deleting their blobs–especially if they open another one when they have second thoughts—that annoys me and I will gladly remove their gonehead immediately. as I already said. I don't worry so much if it's someone just being pissy, then, whatEVERS.


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