Number Nine?

Number Nine,

After I got my assignment I realized what a fool I am to think I could produce a missive worthy of your attention, let alone your abuse.
But as my senses cleared, I began to think.

After all, I know what a harness is, and have many inventive notions of what it can be used for.
And sometimes I can spell.
I know that small neighboring children seem unappealing at first, and that a closer acquaintance does nothing to improve them. Though I have some ideas of how they could be rendered really, really quiet.

I revere the ability to triage belongings, and the brilliance of coercing cold cash from the public for the privilege of removing crap. I was truly thrilled at the opportunity to collect it all from your neighbors for further study.
I've done lots of stuff that I am virtually certain wouldn't impress you.
But if you wanted to attempt to master the math behind matrix isomorphism I would glory in watching it annoy you.
I know much more than is reasonable about your non-virtual neighbors, and I have a few theories for how to employ gravity and radiation — and even a few simple blunt objects — in improving their behavior.

You aren't catching, truly.
Although I doalways wear gloves when pawing through your garbage, surely I'd know if you were.
Suffice it to say, I'll be seeing more of you soon.
And your little dog too.
I look forward to the opportunity to worship at your lovely, pedicured feet.

For further annoyance, you know where to find me — just look around.
Slowly.
lw
 

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20 responses to this post.

  1. [this is tough] Yours is going to hard to solve!

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  2. this is teh awesome…Hey carlisa, howcome you're not playing? There are still a few good numbers left!

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  3. this is easy peasy…

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  4. plus also teh awsum…

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  5. Oh, I thought your stalkee was someone else's. This narrows things down…

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  6. I gots it, easy."Slowly" is teh perfect last bit.

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  7. Phew, I finally know one! Well done!!Was this post added to the stalker group? I didn't see it there.

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  8. It is now.

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  9. This is fantastic. One of the best so far!

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  10. Awesome! Where do we make our guesses?

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  11. I'm not sure.BrownAmazon's post probably says.

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  12. LOL! SO much fun to read! "Look around……slowly"…….hee!

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  13. Didn't BA say we have to wait until all 21 posts are up, and then send her a PM that includes all our guesses? I got in trouble for yelling out my first answer on her blob, that's why I know. [blushes]btw, I am pretty sure this is my favorite entry in this first round so far!

    Reply

  14. Oh, eeeks, I have been yelling every comment I make cuz this is so exciting. I would like to publicly apologize for all of my "yelled" comments. It's all making me very hyper. At leaast, however, I didn't yell out any answers.*cocks an eyebrow at IG*

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  15. Oh I love this one. My fave so far! Lauo, lauo, lauo…

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  16. Still my fave. ("Yod" might be my fave but don't dare tell!)

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  17. Good stuff. These are all such great stalkery letters!

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  18. *sigh* I don't know who it is…But the letter was great!

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  19. Wow your letter is awesome and Metz just told me about the contest but I can only figure out a couple of them. I have nooo Idea whose yours is but your letter is good.

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  20. very well done! (now that the cat is out of the bag…)

    Reply

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