It’s all IG’s fault, of course, but I canz stalkz 2

My dear Laurie,

I can't call you Hugh, since this name we share, as we share so much else.
It must be fate.
I've watched from afar as you've struggled against your feelings, and my darling I cannot let you suffer any longer.
The unlisted number, the doormen at your building, even your silly butler, these things were only meant to whet my desires.
And your plan has succeeded, silly boy.
If you hadn't meant for me to find you, you would have hidden better.
The little clues, the sweet hints, they were enough for my highly paid
search service to locate you, and now our long separation is nearly at
an end.
The messages you've slipped into your scripts, I've understood them all.
The scalpels are ready, and the bunny, and so am I.

Yours warmly, and forever.

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29 responses to this post.

  1. EWWWWWW!

    Reply

  2. Hey! No sharesies! I want! Mine!

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  3. it's alright.When I'm finished with him it will be easy to share….

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  4. Oh my ggggarshness!!!lauo, that is one VERY convincing stalker letter. *shifty eyes, uncomfortable shuffling*It was just made up, right? LOL…"the messages you've slipped into the scripts"….aaah, too good!Um, Metz, she has scalpels. You're not gonna fight her for him, ARE ya???

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  5. ROFL. EEEEECH!!!

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  6. um, that comment is just awkward. hahaha.
    but i love the letter, well as much as you can love a stalker letter! rofl.

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  7. "The game is afoot, Watson." Too obscure? Nah. LOL — great post!!

    Reply

  8. Scalpels, and a bunny? EEK! Next it will be the feather duster and the llama…

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  9. Who sayz I have fight her for him? Hmmmm?
    Mebbe I already HAVE him.

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  10. This is hilarious.

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  11. I no.I know where he is.And Robbie, we can have a little game with a foot later.

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  12. *checks closet*
    dang it! Wrong guy!

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  13. So, who have you got in there.Another Elvis sighting?Hate it when that happens.

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  14. And just what are you doing with that llama, missy?

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  15. I've got it! Metz….in the laundry room….with the feather duster and the llama!

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  16. I grabbed teh wrong Hugh by mistake.
    http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/5845/HughJackma_Pimen_12908108_400.jpg.html?path=pgallery&path_key=Jackman%2C%20Hugh&seq=4
    Sigh. I guess he'll have to do. (the sacrifices one makes…)

    Reply

  17. And the feather duster and llama are for LATER!

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  18. "The llama is a quadruped which lives in the big
    rivers like the Amazon. It has two ears, a heart, a forehead, and a beak for
    eating honey. But it is provided with fins for swimming. Llamas are larger than
    frogs. Llamas are dangerous, so if you see one where people are swimming, you
    shout… Look out, there are llamas!"

    Reply

  19. Baldrick is definitely a very silly butler. Tell you what, I'll gladly chat up
    Mr. Adder and when he isn't looking you put the pillowcase over George's head.

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  20. I don wanna cover up his face.i likes his face.and, uh, Peg, llama with fins?What are they doin puttin them in petting zoos??????

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  21. Only for kidnapping purposes. I can see you throwing him over your shoulder and running away truly, madly deeply. When you get him in your boudoir, then you take the pillow case off his head. And Baldrick will be none the wiser. As if he could.

    Reply

  22. This is deliciously insane.

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  23. This reminds me so much of a game a friend of mine & I used to play in class we'd sit together and were known as the "good students" cause we didn't talk in class like the rest of them los-er-I mean students. Anyhoo, we'd have a notebook between us and we'd make a comic of our veddy own which of course starred us kidnapping Sting and making him our personal love slave. Ah the innocence of youth.

    Reply

  24. Hahahaha. Still laughing over this! Heee and ….Mmmmm!

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  25. Just to be tidy, I've stashed my first effort in here too.

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  26. Per usual to late to play. Swimming with Llama's such fun. the butler has been cleared hasn't he.

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  27. But didn't the butler do it?

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  28. Except….it's better, way better, than good. It's so good I'm going to tell friends.

    Reply

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