Are You Trying to Turn This Circus into a Courtroom?

Many years ago my mother tried to convince me to apply for law school.
(I think she worried about the job possibilities in comparative literature, for some reason.)
She ended up with what seemed to her a knock-out punch of an argument:
After all, it's mostly just paperwork.
It isn't as if you have to work in a courtroom being Perry Mason, mostly lawyers just sit in offices.

I never quite understood why she thought that would be a compelling argument, until yesterday.

As some of you might recall, Tom was robbed at gunpoint on Father's Day.
And because I am an idiot, I had a short conversation with the guys earlier the same afternoon.
(Basically I was making small-talk with the scary guys who were hanging out next to my car.)
Well, a couple of days later the police came by and showed us an array of photos, among them shots of the two guys.
As instructed we have been not discussing it with each other since.
And we got subpoenas and had to go in Tuesday, and today, and testify about it all
This was just a preliminary hearing, whatever that means, so maybe we have to go through all this again later.
All I can say is the whole thing was utterly creepy — metal detectors at the door, and officers thick underfoot, and all kinds of scary-looking people out in the hallways (and they were just the lawyers and witnesses).

The high points of it all involved things like me having to guess how far away in feet people had been if they were in front of the car parked next to mine.
(How close? Too close.)
Or how tall people are.
(Big and scary.)
Or – HA – identify a car.
(I can identify exactly five kinds of cars: volvo 240 series, old vws, new vws, BMWs if I can see the little emblem thingy; oh, I guess that's only four.)

So, for the record.
Mom, you were right, I don't want to be Perry Mason.
I'd prefer this:

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13 responses to this post.

  1. Lauo, sheez the court system can be a circus. But we're right behind you on this. Hang in there. With you all the way. Good lucksez.


  2. Ack! I think I somehow missed your ordeal! Good luck to you throughout all of this! And yes, court is scary.


  3. Mini-Coopers aren't too hard to distinguish either. Yesterday my boss and I left a restaurant and I stood next to his Acura only to have him point out that "that's not mine". Good lord. I would like being a lawyer, especially a law and order type of lawyer – because they always have chopsticks and white take out chinese food cartons. Yum!


  4. lol @ dewitte—Lauo, weren't you buying Chinese food that night? I can't believe they're just now getting around to this! To be honest, I thought they just filed a complaint. Maybe they caught these guys pulling the same thing? I don't know. I have a lousy memory of anything but a face. Keep us posted on this!


  5. That's it!I knew there was another one — I can recognize Mini-Coupers too.So it is five, and I'm marginally less pathetic.


  6. Yes, I was surprised that anything came of use reporting it.We've been burgled a couple of times and nothing ever came of it.But in this case there are a bunch of people they did different stuff to, including one guy they shot at.Or should that be allegedly shot at?I don't know from alleged or not — they are the guys who robbed Tom at gunpoint.Anyway, that's why it is all taking so long — all the witnesses have to testify and then be cross-examined by two lawyers.I really hope they plead out and we don't have to do this again.(But we will, if we have to.)


  7. I doubt if Tom wondered if it was going to be "alleged" at the time they pulled that gun on him. You did the right thing by making eye contact (PLUS—you heard their voices) Maybe you don't think you'll remember, but you'd be surprised what little things trigger the memory.


  8. le sigh. this sounds so yucky. sending good thoughts your way.


  9. yikes, I missed this too, lauowolf. terrible news. Stuff like this all seems like a dream until you're in the middle of the investigation and you realize it's not, it's real, and you have to do all this crazy stuff instead of crawling back under the covers.


  10. I do remember the robbery. You had trouble parking for Chinese food. Wow now that a miracle right there. That is all part of that be here now business. It is amazing what we do and don't remember.I hate to tell you this, but I think you have a long way to go on this. Yuck. Must think of it as an adventure. Lets up it doesn't go to trail by jury. Snort.We want video………….lol


  11. yikes. i'm sorry you have to go through this. :(there was a brief point when i was considering becoming a lawyer – it's not too late yet. but i think i'll pass.


  12. Well, remember that you could just be a lawyer and push papers.


  13. but where would the excitement be?besides, I'll get to do that anyway. 😉


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