Many years ago my mother tried to convince me to apply for law school.
(I think she worried about the job possibilities in comparative literature, for some reason.)
She ended up with what seemed to her a knock-out punch of an argument:
After all, it's mostly just paperwork.
It isn't as if you have to work in a courtroom being Perry Mason, mostly lawyers just sit in offices.
I never quite understood why she thought that would be a compelling argument, until yesterday.
And because I am an idiot, I had a short conversation with the guys earlier the same afternoon.
(Basically I was making small-talk with the scary guys who were hanging out next to my car.)
Well, a couple of days later the police came by and showed us an array of photos, among them shots of the two guys.
As instructed we have been not discussing it with each other since.
And we got subpoenas and had to go in Tuesday, and today, and testify about it all
This was just a preliminary hearing, whatever that means, so maybe we have to go through all this again later.
All I can say is the whole thing was utterly creepy — metal detectors at the door, and officers thick underfoot, and all kinds of scary-looking people out in the hallways (and they were just the lawyers and witnesses).
The high points of it all involved things like me having to guess how far away in feet people had been if they were in front of the car parked next to mine.
(How close? Too close.)
Or how tall people are.
(Big and scary.)
Or – HA – identify a car.
(I can identify exactly five kinds of cars: volvo 240 series, old vws, new vws, BMWs if I can see the little emblem thingy; oh, I guess that's only four.)
So, for the record.
Mom, you were right, I don't want to be Perry Mason.
I'd prefer this: